12 December 2005

Blame it on Barbie

I want to buy a house. I can’t afford to buy a house, but I want to. Additionally, I don’t want to buy one in my current state of residence. I can’t stand the winters here. This change-of-location requirement for ownership just reinforces the fact that I can’t afford to buy a house. Especially not my dream house.

I have been designing and redesigning my dream house for over a decade. In junior high and high school I was sure I wanted to become an architect and would spend random hours with a stack of graph paper drafting designs for my dream house. Since I graduated from high school, secure in the knowledge that architecture wasn’t for me, I have been mentally drafting designs for my dream house. It has seen many incarnations, but the current one is a variation on the Craftsman cottage, with a lot of large windows, beautiful, simple woodwork and two stories. It is located somewhere temperate near an ocean. Either coast is acceptable. I also have a mental design for the interior, complete with memorized paint chips, catalogued furniture options from IKEA, Pottery Barn, and any number of items found in various editions of InStyle HOME magazine. If I had the time or space, I would start a house scrapbook, with pictures, paint chips, cutouts, fabric swatches etc. But I probably shouldn’t feed the obsession.

Part of the problem is I’m tired of living in someone else’s space. I want a space of my own where I can put the overhead lighting where I want, where I can install sconces if I want, or attached shelving. I’m lucky in that my apartment lease allows me to paint, as long as I return it to its pristine and boring white before I move out. But it just isn’t the same. I want a place to settle, to call home, not just a place I live for the moment, where I have to re-evaluate if I want to stay there once a year after which they will raise my rent payment. I want a home to call my own, not just an address.

7 comments:

aquamarine said...

Having had a taste of my own home, I greatly sympathise with your desire to have the 'American Dream'. I now live in very old student housing. This is nothing like my own house. But it is what i have to do right now, so I will join you in your dreams and wishes.

Anonymous said...

Keep the dream, your turn will come and does your plan include a "mother comes way too often to visit" room?

Esperanza said...

ugh on the having to paint it white again upon leaving the apartment, that puts a damper on the decorating! ...more proof one needs one's own space!

Katie said...

My dream involves a circular driveway, a huge library with a London ceiling and the ladders that move around the shelves, and a wall of cascading water in the entry-way...nothing too extravagent or anything, lol- but hey, at least you get to paint AND have a washer and dryer- I'm jealous!

Panini said...

A house scrapbook would be AWESOME! Feed it. Feed it.

Mark Beadnell said...

It's easier than you think to own your own place! Start small and work up to your dream. Half the fun of new home ownership is figuring out what you want to do differently after you've just done what you originally thought you'd want to do. :)

cherbear said...

I used to draw houses and wanted to be an architect too!! Now I work with architects in the development of subdivisions, so that's close. I think the house scrapbook is a great idea. Then you'll be ready for when you can own your own home.