I have been mentally drafting a post about something serious and important that has been on my mind, but the writing of it is not coming along as I would like, so instead of my Serious and Important Post, you are getting a post on my bizarre dreams. I'm not quite sure what they mean, exactly, only that my subconscious is trying to tell me something that I haven't deciphered yet. Since you, dear readers, are smart and lovely, I thought I would open it up for discussion by posting the two dreams I have had in the past 3 days that make me think I might need to Deal With Some Issues.
Two nights ago, I had a dream that my dad decided to by a condo by the airport. (No such thing exists in real life, by the way.) Consequently the house we live in was to be sold. He was so excited about the new place and took me to see it. It was a lovely townhouse with a main floor, an upper floor where the one bedroom was, and a basement that housed a home theater. The whole place was gorgeous, but I got a little sidetracked by the fact that a) it cost $250,000 and I was worried my dad couldn't afford a condo that cost a quarter of a million dollars and b) there was only one bedroom - his. There was obviously no room for me in the condo, unless I wanted to sleep on the couch in the home theater. It was distressing.
Then last night, I had a dream that I had moved into a lovely apartment but that with the moving, everything was chaos and the kitchen was a disaster of dishes that had been in storage too long. Also moving into the apartment were several of my roommates from college, including Parker, Hoopsta, and Jubbs Stubbs (the later two are happily married in real life) but they were all busy doing other things so I spent hours trying to get the kitchen clean and in order and find places for the stuff of at least 4 adults who all had their own stuff. I was starting to get really frustrated. The kitchen was finally clean (and let me just say that the whole apartment looked like one of those amazing wood-floored, ceramic-tiled places on TV shows) and I started to look for my stuff, when I realized that there weren't enough bedrooms and the only place for my bed was in the massive dining space next to the kitchen and that I didn't even know where my bed or any of the my other stuff was. I was trying to figure things out when I decided to make sure all the outside doors were locked. I found that the back door, which led directly to Parker's huge and beautifully appointed master suite, would not stay closed, let alone locked. After struggling with it for a very, very long time, I had to give up when Parker got back from whatever she had been doing and had no problem with the door. Also, I must point out, she was wearing cropped pants made out of shiny black pleather and 5 inch stilettos. I was so confused by the outfit and to why, exactly, she was wearing it. And at that point my alarm went off and I woke up.
It has been suggested to me, by a loving and experienced person, that perhaps some sort of professional help, like grief therapy, might be appropriate after the craptastic year and a half I've been through. Maybe she is right. But that opens a whole can of worms I'm not quite ready to deal with at the moment. Any interpretations, suggestions, or comments are more than welcome!
Two nights ago, I had a dream that my dad decided to by a condo by the airport. (No such thing exists in real life, by the way.) Consequently the house we live in was to be sold. He was so excited about the new place and took me to see it. It was a lovely townhouse with a main floor, an upper floor where the one bedroom was, and a basement that housed a home theater. The whole place was gorgeous, but I got a little sidetracked by the fact that a) it cost $250,000 and I was worried my dad couldn't afford a condo that cost a quarter of a million dollars and b) there was only one bedroom - his. There was obviously no room for me in the condo, unless I wanted to sleep on the couch in the home theater. It was distressing.
Then last night, I had a dream that I had moved into a lovely apartment but that with the moving, everything was chaos and the kitchen was a disaster of dishes that had been in storage too long. Also moving into the apartment were several of my roommates from college, including Parker, Hoopsta, and Jubbs Stubbs (the later two are happily married in real life) but they were all busy doing other things so I spent hours trying to get the kitchen clean and in order and find places for the stuff of at least 4 adults who all had their own stuff. I was starting to get really frustrated. The kitchen was finally clean (and let me just say that the whole apartment looked like one of those amazing wood-floored, ceramic-tiled places on TV shows) and I started to look for my stuff, when I realized that there weren't enough bedrooms and the only place for my bed was in the massive dining space next to the kitchen and that I didn't even know where my bed or any of the my other stuff was. I was trying to figure things out when I decided to make sure all the outside doors were locked. I found that the back door, which led directly to Parker's huge and beautifully appointed master suite, would not stay closed, let alone locked. After struggling with it for a very, very long time, I had to give up when Parker got back from whatever she had been doing and had no problem with the door. Also, I must point out, she was wearing cropped pants made out of shiny black pleather and 5 inch stilettos. I was so confused by the outfit and to why, exactly, she was wearing it. And at that point my alarm went off and I woke up.
It has been suggested to me, by a loving and experienced person, that perhaps some sort of professional help, like grief therapy, might be appropriate after the craptastic year and a half I've been through. Maybe she is right. But that opens a whole can of worms I'm not quite ready to deal with at the moment. Any interpretations, suggestions, or comments are more than welcome!
14 comments:
Hey, I am not one to believe that dreams mean something but you know that, but the theme to these to seem to be that you don't feel like you belong anywhere. I normally wouldn't side with a dream but I believe that that is true. Not that you don't belong somewhere but that you feel like you don't. I hope that it isn't anything that I have said/done. I don't mean to make you feel this way. But since you know that this isn't an anonymous comment you know who it is from and you can tell me when I talk to you.
Dreams to me are a lot like a having a good cry sometimes, aweful during the process but some what cleansing. Unfortunately yours seem to be hanging on. I would agree with mime however, the running theme is feelings of displacement and chaos. But this is coming from the women that wakes up thinking, "what the heck?" every morning. ;)
Yeah, I'd agree with Mime too. You feel like there isn't a place for you. Couldn't tell you what to do to fix it though. Move to England and become a famous writer?
Those do sounds like good thoughts, but also, you could just be processing the fact that you will be moving out on your own to a new situation that you don't know how you will fit into it yet--the grad school theme that is---and processing leaving your father alone, and what that will mean for you and for him~.
On the dreams thing: lots of mine mean absolutely nothing, but some clue me in to just how much real anxiety I'm actually going through. So it sounds like yours are likely doing their job in this case.
And as for therapy, I will just borrow my little sister's wise words and say that there probably aren't many of us out there who couldn't use a bit of therapy. It can't hurt, and it might really help a lot. As you say, you've had a really awful year and it might be good to be able to hash it out with someone.
I also concur with what has been suggested, especially by Esperanza and Nemesis. I don't agree with you moving to England however.. that's too far.. I also agree that there aren't too many people who couldn't use a little therapy. diving into it is a little scary at first.. or a lot scary.. but I think it does help. You have been through so much.. SO much. I hope you find your answers soon. We all support you, that's for sure.. in whatever you need.
Ok, I was wearing WHAT?!? And apparently I was a room-hog? How rude of me. Sorry. :)
My first thought was that you're having moving-out issues, because although you have a general idea of where you'll be in the fall, the details are yet to come. So there's my pleather-pant-clad two cents.
Parker
That is so unlike Parker to wear anything pleather. And I totally agree with everyone. Counseling may help. Just talking with someone else helps. Solutions to your problems could be right in front of you and someone else could help you see that.
Thanks everyone for your lovely comments. And Parker, it was kind of like something from a Madonna concert or a BatGirl costume. Very odd.
I think you're holding together very well Scully, for what it's worth.
This isn't really a relevant comment, but...
Which episode is the "Jan is . . . professional, which is a metaphor for cold. We make a good team, like Lenny and Squiggy. Except I'm like Lenny and Squiggy, and she's like a stone." quote from?
I can't find it anywhere. Thanks.
Honestly, Matt, I get the quotes of a daily calendar I got at Christmas. I guess that is probably some sort of copyright infringement or something, but since I think only 10 or so people actually read this blog, I didn't really consider it. So I have no idea what episode the quote came from. Sorry.
Scully,
Haha no problem. My friend probably has the same calendar... he asked me if I recognized that quote from his calendar, and when I didn't I searched online and got your blog. Oh well, haha. Thanks anyway.
I think it was J Golden Kimball who said that he believed in dreams that come true.
My own feeling about dreams is that sometimes they can have a meaning, but most of the time they're just your sub-concious free-wheeling. If dreams help you to deal with reality, that's a bonus. I find dealing with reality easiest when I address it with my concious mind.
Sorry - I have no experience of therapy. All my adult life I've dealt with difficult issues by regular physical exercise. I find exercise blows away the cobwebs from my head and gives context to life. I don't know if that makes any sense...
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