27 February 2008

In Which The Universe Mocks Me

Now, it isn't as if I particularily embrace my Singleton life, although I'm fairly realistic about the sacrifices marriage and family entail. I am where I am and I deal with it as best I can, but some days I do long for a corporeal significant other, rather than the bevy of Fantasy Boyfriends with whom I am currently involved. I do not need the fact that I am 29 and single emphasized for me. Which is exactly what the theme of the past few days has seemed to be. Two incidents seem to indicate the Universe would very much like to pour lemon juice in the paper cut that is being 29, single, and LDS.

INCIDENT #1
Setting: Sunday evening, my home.
Players: The Wholly Unsocialized Twelve Year-Old Daughter of my dad's friends, and myself.

Parents of WUTYOD: This is our oldest daughter.

Scully: Hel-

WUTYOD (interrupting): Can we watch TV?

Scully (befuddled): -lo. Um, I guess so. Let me show you how the system works. (We have a complicated system of remotes - not for the faint of heart)

WUTYOD: Are you thirty?

Scully (even more befuddled): No, twenty-nine, but close.

WUTYOD: I thought so.

Scully (silently): And what does that mean?

Later in the evening, as the family was leaving.

WUTYOD (popping up out of who knows where): Are you married?

Scully (thinking, 'Do you SEE a husband?'): No.

WUTYOD: Are you going to get married?

Scully: I don't know. I haven't met anyone I like that much.

WUTYOD: Oh.

END SCENE


INCIDENT #2
Setting: Monday night, ward member's house who had invited my dad and I and another family over for Family Home Evening. I'm playing Wii games with the daughter of the family that invited us while the thirty-four year-old daughter with Down's Syndrome of the other family watches.

DwDS: Do you have a boyfriend?

Scully (out of breath due to the Wii kicking my trash): No.

DwDS: I have boyfriends.

She then proceeded to name three.

END SCENE

Now, if an unsocialized twelve year-old and a woman with Down's Syndrome is calling one out on one's lame social life, changes need to be made.

8 comments:

esperanza said...

I'm sorry I shouldn't laugh but you sure make me laugh with your wonderful way of telling about miserable experiences! Soon you will be in grad school and will meet some cool guys I have no doubt! If it makes you feel better I get this a lot from my high schoolers too who say things like, "You're single." "Yes." "But------you graduated from BYU-----" "Yes." :D

Heather said...

You make me laugh as well.. you really are gifted at writing and you're so dang funny sometimes!

don't let them get to you.. after all.. consider the sources :) You're not just looking for any ole' guy.. you're looking for THE ONE.. This is a careful process.. and this is something that 12-year-olds and said DwDS don't quite have a grasp on at this point in their lives..

ZB said...

Don't forget what I got when I was teaching in Gettoville:

Jose: Teacher you are married, yes?
Me: No, I'm not pretty enough.
Jose: Oh,....okay.

Later that day...
Zayli: Teacher, I think that you have a good enough personality to have a boyfriend at least...
Me: Well...thank you, I think.


You are in good company!

cherbear said...

Kids do say the darndest things (sorry for the cliche but they do!). One little girl (3 or 4 yrs old) at church one time patted my stomach and asked if there was a baby in there. This was when I was in high school. I laughed and said, No, not right now. When kids asked if I was married, I would tell them that I wasn't old enough.

E--I have to say that is pretty funny and sad at the same time. It's sad that these kids think that if you go to BYU, you'll graduate married. And I agree, I think there will be some cool guys in grad school for you Scully!

aquamarine said...

Women, the wit and irony in your writing puts me in stitches! As for the universe mocking you, I am officially putting it in time out. ;)

Heather said...

p.s. I'm LOVING your quotes of the day.. they make me smile.. well laugh.. thanks.

Saxon said...

well it's no worse then when my grandmother announced at my sisters wedding that she was going to enjoy it as she was sure there wasn't going to be another family wedding before she died!

In case you haven't guessed I'm the only one from our side of the family not married.

SenatorBond said...

great post...I've learned the best way to react to such ignorance is to reply with a statement which gives shock value...I would give an example, but it would be too vulgar to post :)