03 November 2005

Welcome to the Family?

I'm meeting my future sister-in-law this weekend. I knew that at some point this day would come. I just didn't think it would happen quite so soon. The announcement of my little brother's engagement came the week I turned 27. He never has understood the concept of timing. He has always been impulsive, but he shocked my parents and I by getting engaged 4 weeks after he and theFiance began dating. Four weeks. That is one cycle of the moon, one page on a calendar, 1/13 of a year. How can you possibly know someone in 4 weeks?

So I'm meeting theFiance. I've spoken to her once on the phone, before she became theFiance. She is 19. How does a 19 year-old already know what she wants out of life? I'm 27 and I still don't know what I want out of life. Perhaps experience makes room for uncertainty.

I want to be open and supportive. I want to be a Good Sister. But how do I do that when I think they are completely, totally, amazingly insane for rushing what is possibly the most important decision of their lives?


Katie said...

Hey, it could be worse. In my Shakespeare class this semester my professor made the mistake of mocking 3 weeks until engagement at BYU thinking everyone would laugh it off...turns out one fellow in the class knew his wife for 5 DAYS before they became engaged... FIVE!!! That is by far the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I agree one cycle of the moon and one page on the calendar is, putting it gently, perhaps too brief...but at least theFiance 19-year-old has more guiding her than 5 days...(sometimes Provo is so frightening and I just want to escape)

aquamarine said...

I have to say I got married young, *cough* eighteen *cough* and thankfully I married a wonderful man who loves and respects me more than life and I love him with every fiber of my being, but I do not recommend it!!! We had some really tough times that I think could have been avoided had we dated longer than three months before getting engaged.

I also learned on the other hand, no matter who you pick, you make a commitment and put your whole self into it without any regrets and live life to the fullest. If I had waited, I wouldn't have the three children I have now do to family history and complicated pregnancies that now make me unable to have any more at 25.

Esperanza said...

Told my mom your brother was engaged, she still thought he was like 21 barly! LOL. He is old enough to get married, but 19! I couldn't do it....when I think about the boys I liked at 19! Ugh. Also, maybe I am slow on the learning curve...but I didn't even figure out who I was, until post 22+, (they say a woman's mind is fully matured at 22). I have arrived! Oopps., and beyond...am I in the decay period yet?! JK
You have my support, I'll come to the reception!

Zoie said...

Here's what I say... The nice thing about marriage is that at the end of the day, YOU are the one that goes home with that person. Nobody else has to live with that decision (in it's fullness) but you! So...make the decision with care. You truely do make your own bed and ly in it. Did that make sense? I have to admit that I thank my lucky stars everyday that I married who I did and at the age that I was. That it all!

Panini said...

um, ya. Holy Cow! What are they thinking! It's really too bad that your parents can't still wield control for emergency situations after the child comes of age.

Wow--good luck with that one. Hopefully she's as precious and innocent as your brother and they'll make it work anyway (even though it's stupid, stupid, stupid.)

Of course, I'll still smile, give them a gift and congratulate you on your new relation as I walk through their line.

Cherbear said...

I have to echo Zoie's comments. I am glad I married who I married and at the age I did. I knew what I was getting into. I'd spent some time with this guy and I knew I could live with him forever.