This weekend, I met theFiance. In fact, the whole family traveled to the university town in which my brother (henceforth to be known as Mime) and theFinace live in order to meet her. I feel a little bad, as my parents and I descended en masse without warning. However, she handled it quite well. There was bit of awkwardness, the awkwardness that always accompanies the meeting and mingling of a person's separate spheres. Once the initial awkwardness passed, I realized that theFiance is quite the level-headed girl. In fact, I must admit, that Mime is the flighty one, the airhead, the flibberty-gibbit; the source of my parents' and my anxiety. At least what I thought was the source of my anxiety. As I watched the happy couple, my parents, and all the other couples that seemed to pop up in that university town I realized that my concerns and stress revolving around theWedding might be more about me than about Mime and theFiance.
I confess, I have never been in love. That is kind of a sad thing to confess at the age of 27. But I haven't. I've never let myself let go, lose control emotionally. All my concerns about theWedding, the couple's ages, financial situation, lack of maturity, lack of time invested in the relationship, were all concerns I have about me in any hypothetical relationship. They are all the things that keep me self-contained, guarded, closed-off from others. Maybe the hardest thing about theWedding is that if forces me to admit that my little brother might be more advanced, more grown-up, more mature about something than I am.