07 November 2005

Welcome to the Family II

This weekend, I met theFiance. In fact, the whole family traveled to the university town in which my brother (henceforth to be known as Mime) and theFinace live in order to meet her. I feel a little bad, as my parents and I descended en masse without warning. However, she handled it quite well. There was bit of awkwardness, the awkwardness that always accompanies the meeting and mingling of a person's separate spheres. Once the initial awkwardness passed, I realized that theFiance is quite the level-headed girl. In fact, I must admit, that Mime is the flighty one, the airhead, the flibberty-gibbit; the source of my parents' and my anxiety. At least what I thought was the source of my anxiety. As I watched the happy couple, my parents, and all the other couples that seemed to pop up in that university town I realized that my concerns and stress revolving around theWedding might be more about me than about Mime and theFiance.

I confess, I have never been in love. That is kind of a sad thing to confess at the age of 27. But I haven't. I've never let myself let go, lose control emotionally. All my concerns about theWedding, the couple's ages, financial situation, lack of maturity, lack of time invested in the relationship, were all concerns I have about me in any hypothetical relationship. They are all the things that keep me self-contained, guarded, closed-off from others. Maybe the hardest thing about theWedding is that if forces me to admit that my little brother might be more advanced, more grown-up, more mature about something than I am.

7 comments:

Cherbear said...

Very deep Scully.

Esperanza said...

I can totally relate. I haven't let myself go yet either. Very self-aware. Its hard not to do "self-projection" seeing or projecting your fears on to/in to your views of others situations. Glad you liked her though, would have hated to have heard that you were going to have an un-bearable sister in law! Because---you will be seeing a lot of her!

Panini said...

Scully,
I think your concerns are still completely valid...I believe and hope that we can still be smart and fall in love. Though it's really easy to stay detached so as not to get hurt.
And I think it's so big-hearted of you to be approving. I'd probably keep grumbling until they'd been happily married for 3 years.
I'm glad you like her.

aquamarine said...

I can remember who said it, (it is one of Oprah's mentors),but I will try to sum it up as best as possible. She stated that you do what you know, and when you know better you will do better. Which you did. You opended up to theFiance and saw her for who she is. By the way, I too am glad that you liked her. Now you will have a little sister.

Katie said...

Is she camping worthy?

Miss Parker said...

Not only are your concerns valid, they're realistic...and let's face it, Mime isn't the most realistic or even mature person you know. The fact is, you're different people (ok, captain obvious, much? I think we agree, the past is over) and what's good for him isn't necessarily good for you and vice versa. And I'm sure a certain other situation isn't helping much, if you know what I mean and I think you do. Apologies from the peanut gallery.

Scully said...

Parker, dear, no need to apologize. The 'other' situation didn't have anything to do with it. I'm just not ready to let my little brother outgrow me. Believe me, I'm happy for the people in the 'other' situation. As long as I don't have to organize an intervention.