So I thought Mother's Day was going to be awful and it wasn't. Memorial Day weekend seemed innocuous, but managed to induce a major sulk. Why you ask? Because every single child of every person my dad's age in the ward came home to visit. Seriously, the congregation yesterday was twice its normal size. Which, after conversation with someone about how their child (who is substantially younger than I) just bought a house, was not something I wanted to deal with. Every visiting child had at least two children of their own if they are my brother's age and three or four if they are my age. All of this sent me into a very bad mindset, as I am already feeling like I missed the boat or am stuck on the short bus when it comes to getting my life in order. I can barely afford grad school, let alone a down payment on a house. I haven't had a date in who knows how long. How does a 29 year-old manage to squander her twenties so effortlessly? I have no answers, even though I sat through Sunday School yesterday sulkily pondering possible answers. Needless to say, I was not looking forward to getting up early to go help out at the ward breakfast this morning. Like, at all.
6 comments:
I never realized that about Memorial Day Weekend. What I noticed was that all my friends (and now siblings) went out of town, so nobody showed up to my birthday parties.
Nevertheless, a bad holiday.
I wish I could have shown up for your birthday party. It made me sad thinking about you guys seeing Indiana Jones without me. I can't imagine Parker's glee at the when the camera focused on the hanger doors with a big 51 painted on them. So sorry about the birthday!
So, why were there so many people in your ward? I think my mom was in your ward to for some reason or was at some point....I sympathize BTW did you read my post about my sister's house. Yeah.
Owning a home is overrated so don't worry about that. It's much more rewarding to invest your money or lack thereof in your education. Those people are probably drowning in debt now or will be very soon. I think you've done a fine job in your 20's. Don't worry, you've got your 30's to shape now. Don't look back!!!!! Look forward! You'll be much happier.
I can totally sympathize with you, all of my cousins are married with children and at family get togethers there are like a thousand kids. And my cousins mostly talk about their children and their homes and married life stuff and I feel supremely left out and wonder like what did I do "wrong" that my life is so different than theirs. But then I the same time sometimes I think it's nice not to have to deal with whiny kids. So there's your silver lining.
"How does a 29 year old manage to squander her twenties away so effortlessly?"
By sitting around, trying too hard to be part of a social norm that's not what it's cracked up to be. What a waste.
I've come to the conclusion that I've spent too much time wishing and hoping that I could eventually join the ranks of child brides, and procreate a bucketful of children... even though in my heart of hearts, it wasn't everything I really wanted. And I know now it's not everything that the Lord wants for me either.
I truly believe some of us are saved for special reasons -and NOT because we're not "good enough," or because we still need to learn more and improve more and blah blah blah before we could be granted such blessings. We are not just here for ourselves. And the more time we waste trying to be a part of something that doesn't really fit us anyway... it's a recipe for depressive disaster.
Sorry, struck a chord. I've just had such an epiphany as of late. Heavenly Father didn't send all of us to Earth so we could be married by 19 and pregnant by 20.
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