All About Me

Recently I have been tagged by a couple of people, so I'm going to just overload you all with information about me. I'm sure you are overcome with anticipation.

Five Things I Was Doing Ten Years Ago:

• Embarking on the first of many Major changes from Civil Engineering to Anthropology.
• Sleeping beneath a gargantuan poster of George Clooney in a tux from the Batman & Robin movie. Really the only good thing to come out of that film. I think I still have the poster somewhere.
• Dealing with a positively raunchy Psych 101 professor. It was his last semester teaching the class, he delighted in shocking BYU freshman, and he was retiring at the end of the year.
• Re-adopting the word "ya'll" into my vocabulary. I had three roommates from Texas.
• Exploring the joys of NBC on Thursday nights, from Seinfeld to ER.

Five Things I've Read Recently

• The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion for the third time. This time it was for book club.
• Mary Poppins by P.L. Travers, also for book club.
• North & South by Elizabeth Glaskell.
• An untold number of horrible GRE prep manuals. I wish I could talk my father into letting me burn them in the fire place.
• An embarrassingly high number of fashion and entertainment mags.
  

Five Favorite Possessions

• My wonderful, wonderful bed in all its pillow-topped glory. Should I ever manage the impossible and find a husband, we will have to get a much bigger bed since I usually sleep diagonally and take up my entire queen-sized mattress.
• My computer, because it holds my entire music collection and all the content and photos I've collected for the FBL AND it brings me the lovely internet on which I spend entirely too much time. I can't imagine how brilliant it will be when I get the Macbook Pro I've been drooling over for 3 years.
  
• My Netflix account. It would make the list for bringing me the gorgeous literary adaptation North & South alone, but the fact that it can also bring me heretofore unexplored hours of pretty much everyone in the FBL is like frosting on a decadent chocolate cake.
• My passport. Even though it tragically only has one stamp in it, just taking it out and looking at it reminds me of the possibility of travel.
  
• My library card. Even though this little rural library is nothing compared to my beloved Salt Lake City Public Library, it does help me stay sane.

Five Things I'd Do if I Were a Millionaire

• Get my dad a Harley-Davidson motorcycle.
• Buy a lovely place in London and spend my days seeing all the plays I keep reading about, Like Sir Ian McKlellan in King Lear and Patrick Stewart in Macbeth and next year's RSC schedule that includes both Hamlet and Love's Labour's Lost which are a couple of my faves.
  
• Spend all the rest of my time traveling around the world and seeing all the marvelous things I've only read about in books.
• Spoil my friends and relations by taking them with me on various adventures. Also, that lovely place in London would have several guest rooms. You are all invited.
• Of course all of the above would only happen after I wisely saved, invested, or otherwise set aside a large chunk of said million(s).

Five Things I'll Never Do Again

• Care so much about what other people think that I forget what I want.
• Use henna to color my hair. It turned orange and I smelled like squash.
• Step on a manhole cover. Just because it looks sealed, doesn't mean it is.
  
• Stay in a job that makes me miserable just because it pays well.
• Cut my hair shorter than chin length.

Five Things on My To-Do List

• Balance my checkbook
• Start Christmas shopping
• Write Christmas cards
• Do the dishes.
• Do laundry.

Six Things You May Not Know About Me*

• I can be obsessive about things. Like movies or songs or episodes of television shows in which I have to watch or listen to them repeatedly for a period of time. Right now I'm obsessed with Bob Dylan's Shelter from the Storm, Queensryche's Silent Lucidity, Regina Spektor's Samson, and the DVDs of Doctor Who.
• I haven't practiced the piano since May and I start lessons again on Monday because my teacher is back from maternity leave. Panic is setting in.
• I have a blanky. I have had for years and it is the best thing to wrap up in when it is cold, or I don't feel good, or I've had a bad day.
• I'm inherently lazy. If it doesn't interest me, I put forth minimal effort.
• I'm also inherently stubborn. My way is the best way and if you disagree that is your problem.
• I don't feel 29. I don't feel anything like an adult and am always shocked when people treat me like one.
  

*Some of you, like Parker, may already know all of these, but I hope at least some of them are surprises.

The Last Ten Songs iTunes Played

• One Flight Down by Norah Jones
• The Chase (from The Illusionist) by Phillip Glass
• My Ship by Miles Davis
• Way Over Yonder by Carole King
• Brand New Day by Forty Foot Echo
• Fallen by Bree Sharp
• Haunt You Every Day by Weezer
• Stealing My Heart by The Rolling Stones
• I'm Yours by Billie Holiday
• Somewhere Only We Know by Keane
  

I Survived

The GRE was not fun, especially factoring in the headcold I woke up with that morning. But I did well enough for me to swear off any and all standardized tests and to continue on the Applying for Graduate School process. And Thanksgiving was lovely. The turkey turned out fine despite my fear I would poison my father and I because I didn't have a meat thermometer. Now, if you will excuse me, I must go find another box of kleenex, as I just emptied my fifth box in the past 3 days.

AAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Ok, so I am taking the GRE in on Friday. And in the 11 years since I took my last math class I have managed to completely bury everything I ever learned. Remember the quadratic formula? Because I didn't until I saw it in the GRE study guide and broke into a cold sweat and horrid flashbacks of hours spent on algebra homework. If you have forgotten, it looks like this:

Do you remember it now? Anyway, I have been cramming my brain full of mathematics for an hour after work each day, which leaves little time for anything else. Also, Thanksgiving is Thursday and I volunteered to cook it because neither my dad and I have enough vacation time to travel to see our relatives. Some friends invited us to their Thanksgiving, but I don't think either of us are up for spending Thanksgiving with other people's relatives. Which brings us back to the fact that I have to finish remembering, and then executing correctly, all the heinous math I spent the last decade blocking out AND create an entire Thanksgiving dinner in the next 6 days. This means that I have to give up some things. Like this blog. So I will see you in a week and let you all know how it went.

Happy Holidays, Indeed.

I was going to post about how loathsome it is that people and retailers are throwing up Christmas ('throwing up' in the sense of spewing it all over everything, rather than tossing it in the air and letting in land where it may. Although most of the decorating has no rhyme or reason, so I guess it is in both senses of the phrase. Carry on.) rather than observing the natural order of holidays from Halloween through Veteran's Day and onto Thanksgiving. One neighbor had her lights up on November 5th. She has been adding things to her front lawn daily. Sadly, every time I am prepared to take a picture, she does not have the lights turned on. One day. But then I came home to my December InStyle. It arbitrarily opened to the last page of the Christmas GAP ads (which I take as a sign of good tidings, of course) and saw this:

Suddenly I was humming Christmas tunes and ready to jump headlong into the Christmas rush. Santa, please take note. I'm sure I'm much more deserving than all the other girls sending in the same Christmas wish this year.

California, Part II: The Golden Boy or The Inherent Inequality of Karmic Balance

My brother Mime and his wife Mrs. Mime are in California this fall so Mime can complete an internship. They live with Mrs. Mime’s family about an hour south of where The Accidental Housewife and Mr. Big live, so they drove up to visit. Now I have written before about how Mime just seems to court good luck. He wins Nintendo Wiis, he lands paid internships, he leads a charmed life. You readers have heard this before. So you won’t be surprised to learn that the charm has followed him to California. A week before I arrived in California, Mime called to tell me not to worry about the California fires because his office had been evacuated and he and all the servers were on their way to the L.A. office. During the evacuation, Mime’s company had done a good deed and helped a neighbor take down their computers and servers and get them out of the office. When they all moved back in, the owner of the neighboring company brought all the employees in Mime’s office the Deluxe Edition DVD of Transformers. Which was Mime’s favorite movie this summer. His boss assured their neighbor that it wasn't necessary to spend that much money in thanks etc, when the neighbor said that he got the DVDs for free because he was somehow (Mime told me, I just can't remember) related to one of the stars. After hearing this story, I was loudly declaring that this would only happen to Mime when Mrs. Mime quietly said, “Tell her about Disneyland.” Mime was reluctant to tell the Disneyland story at first, but The Accidental Housewife and I finally convinced him to spill the beans.

The Disneyland Story: Mrs. Mime’s family lives pretty close to Anaheim, so they get season passes to Disneyland and this fall Mime and Mrs. Mime got them too. So a couple Fridays past the whole family decided to go to Disneyland. Mime had some issues to deal with at work and was running late so he got there after the family. He was standing waiting for the tram from the parking lot to the park and was on his mobile finishing up some stuff with his boss. His boss then started asking him questions about Washington state and the conversation lasted for a bit. When Mime hung up, there was a tap on his shoulder and the man behind him started asking him questions about Washington. Mime said he recognized the man, but couldn’t place him until he saw his wife. Posh Spice. So Mime spent the rest of the time waiting for the tram having a nice conversation with David and Victoria Beckham, only he couldn’t remember Victoria Beckham’s real name and therefore never actually addressed her, as he didn’t think she would appreciate being called ‘Posh Spice.’ The tram came and they all got on and then Mr. Beckham was tapped on the shoulder and Mime thought their conversation had come to an end. Only it wasn’t just some fan who tapped Mr. Beckham on the shoulder, but rather Derek Jeter. Who was on the tram with Alex Rodgriguez, Roger Clemens and assorted wives and/or girlfriends. And Mime wasn’t left out of the conversation. Even when they all got off the tram, the group got Mime through security, offered to buy him a ticket, and took him through the hidden VIP entrance with them. They also invited him to join them that evening, but since he was meeting his wife they understood and gave him a couple of locations they were going to be at that evening if Mime and Mrs. Mime wanted to catch up with them. And that is The Disneyland Story. Mime had the quintessential California experience everyone thinks they are going to have when going to California for the first time, but never actually do.

It has been my experience that Mime’s continual good luck has to be balanced out. That balance is usually achieved by some misery on my part. Which brings us to my vacation. Mr. Big is a big fan of the band America ('Horse With No Name', 'Ventura Highway'). In fact he actually admits to liking their song “Muskrat Love.” America was performing at a club the Friday I was visiting so he and The Accidental Housewife got me a ticket too. I like America as well, having heard them since I was in utero because my mom liked them. The concert was held at a club where you could eat dinner before hand and then enjoy the show either standing in the back or at your table. Since there was just the three of us, we were seated at a bar table, with the elevated bar stools. Which was great, since it afforded us a good view of the stage. There was also a bar. Which meant that there were a lot of inebriated folks my parents’ age in the audience. One man in particular found it very difficult not to touch me on his way to and from the bar. The first time I chalked up to him not seeing my hand on the back of my chair. The second time, when he touched my side, precariously close enough to certain areas to have constituted as ‘feeling up’ should his hand have lingered, I was extraordinarily unhappy. When he blatantly attempted to look down my not-at-all-low-cut shirt on his next trip, both The Accidental Housewife and I went blind with rage. Sadly, Mr. Big had moved to the back of the house due to a bad back and wanting a better view of what was really an excellent concert. The only thing that kept me from walking over to Touchy McFeely's table, where he sat with HIS WIFE, and bloodying his nose was the mysterious youngish-looking bald man halfway across the room who looked amazingly like Michael Rosenbaum. So I distracted myself with trying to figure out if it really was him. The cons being a) his TV show films in Vancouver, B.C., b) up until I noticed him, I was very much the youngest adult in the room (some parents had brought a few pre-teens and teens, but I don’t know how many were there against their will), c) I had been wearing my contacts all day and they were quite dried out and blurry by then and d) I don’t have luck like that. The pros being a) he did look a lot like Mr. Rosenbaum, b) I saw an episode of Cribs that featured Mr. Rosenbaum and he is just quirky enough to be at a concert for a band from the 70s, c) there had been a limo in the parking lot when we pulled up, and d) trying to decide kept me from purposely tripping the drunken Touchy McFeely the next time he walked past our table. I guess I can feel at peace knowing that my being nearly-groped by an age-inappropriate stranger allowed Mime to meet some of his sports heroes. I don’t think I would be this Zen about it if he had met some FBL members.

California, Part I: Sister-Aunt

When most people first hear that I went on vacation to see my aunt, they usually raise an eyebrow. I’m sure this is because they are imagining a matronly, middle-aged aunt. In my case, my aunt, the Accidental Housewife, is only 7 years older than I am. And she spent a majority of every summer, if not the whole summer, at our house when I was growing up. When my mother, my aunt, and I would go out, people would inevitably stare as three red-heads are quite a sight. The brave would venture to ask us if we were related. I’m sure they were trying to figure out exactly how we were related, as the age differences made our relationships to one another difficult to determine. So the Accidental Housewife and I made up our own definitions. Hence, she is my sister-aunt and I am her sister-niece.

Growing up, the Accidental Housewife was my definition of cool. I loved when she would clean out her room because I always inherited fun stuff. I got all her Air Supply records when she downsized to cassette tapes, and then got the cassette tapes when she got tired of the group. I also got a wicked awesome Cyndi Lauper album which featured white high-heels with Starry, Starry Night by Van Gogh painted on the bottom as cover art. I wish that record hadn’t disappeared, because I spent hours listening to it, trying to be hip. I also remember getting a Wham! tape and a Madonna tape which my mother promptly threw out. It is a good thing she didn’t know what Cyndi Lauper’s She-Bop was about, or I wouldn’t have been able to keep that record either. I also got some great outfits until I doubled in size and at the age of 8 could no longer fit into my aunt’s size zero clothes. But I digress. The point being that I idolized my aunt and still remember how special I felt when she would do my long hair in massive curls and big bangs (oh, the 80s!) because she was spending time with me and on me. Sadly, she had to become a responsible adult and once she was out of school and had a career we could no longer spend the summers playing. Luckily, I went to college in Utah where she lived and since I was now the irresponsible student, we still had fun. Sadly that had to come to an end when I was forced to become a responsible adult and she moved to California.

Seeing as how it hasn’t been a particularly pleasant year for either she or I, we were both very much looking forward to seeing one another. I was excited to see her and her husband’s (Mr. Big) house and to meet their dog Dudley. Also exciting is the fact that my aunt is 19 weeks along with her first child. Which makes me all excited to be a cousin-aunt to Junior. The Accidental Housewife had been telling me how big she was getting, which I couldn’t really believe, as she has always on the petite side. And I still don’t think she is that big. Check out this picture of us the day I flew out. Does she look nearly 5 months pregnant? I don’t think so.

Here is a picture Mr. Big took, which is ever so flattering to both of us, but still doesn't make the Accidental Housewife look nearly as big as she thinks she is.


And finally, here is a picture of their dog, Dudley, who became my best pal.

I have more stories to tell, but this is already a fairly epic-long blog entry, so I'll save them for later.

X-Philes Synchronize Your Watches!

The moment you have all been waiting for is finally here! Fox announced that that the second X-Files movie would begin filming in December and would be released 25 July 2008. Apparently it is filming in Vancouver B.C. again, which brings joy to my heart. And also means Parker and I have to move up our timetable for visiting that fair city. Think of all the FBL-ers floating around that town this winter! So let the countdown begin.