12 May 2007

I Wonder If His Middle Name is Danger?


It is official, I work with a Dwight. In fact, should any future work stories be good enough to share, he shall be referred to as Dwight K. Schrute. I had already labeled him a 'Dwight' due to the fact that he is anal-retentive. Last week he made one of the other employees so mad she had to leave work for a while. She was already having a bad day, due to the fact that one of the owners apparently can't make his own coffee and, having asked me how my coffee-making skills were (the reply, of course, being 'not good'), he interrupted her work so she could make coffee. Unbeknownst to us, the coffeemaker had a clog. Thus the coffee ran all over the little kitchenette, rather than in the coffee pot. Twice. So by ten o'clock in the morning she had cleaned the kitchenette twice AND make three pots of coffee. At about 1 o'clock in the afternoon, whilst she, henceforth to be known as TheBarrista, was hurriedly trying to catch up, she was cutting something with the large paper cutter on the front desk. Dwight K. Schrute came up and said "We need to keep this front area clean. I'm going to tell this to everyone, but make sure you clean up after yourself. We don't want a bunch of scraps where everyone can see." To which she replied "You have got to be kidding." Because the woman who cleaned the kitchenette up twice would totally leave three scraps of paper lying about for everyone to see. Also, he hasn't spoken to any one else about it.

On Wednesday of last week, he spent the afternoon freaking out and berating fellow employees* for small mistakes in verb tenses (regards rather than regard; degradations rather than degradation) on documents. Granted it was legal jargon, but not something that held legal ramifications. On Thursday he spent an hour closeted with the next senior employee, TheBarrista, in a meeting from which he emerged a little less anal. He also spent an hour in the afternoon in a closed-door meeting with the actual owner.

Thursday morning, when the first meeting was taking place, there wasn't much the receptionist, ChattyCathy, the assistant to TheBarrista, henceforth to be known as GymGirl, and I could do. So ChattyCathy and GymGirl filled me in. Apparently they have gone through receptionists like crazy. ChattyCathy was originally hired to do the indexing, but was promoted a month later when the receptionist quit after an ugly scene with Dwight. He has also lectured ChattyCathy on reaching her full potential which he is sure she isn't doing. He made her so mad she burst into tears because he said that people shouldn't be so mad about what Don Imus said becuase it was the truth. GymGirl can't stand him and hates the way he speaks to clients and customers. He does not have people skills. Rumor has it he was married once for a total of eight weeks. Needless to say, the soap opera is completely intriguing. Also, it is a relief to not care about the job. If he berates me, I have no problem standing up to him because I don't care if I'm fired. It is very liberating.


*Note: while he is the employee with the most seniority, he does not own the place, nor is he anyone's boss. He just acts as if he is.

6 comments:

Jared said...

I love the office, not sure if i would want to work with dwight but lol. Did you see the one when they were on the beach, or the one when Jim dresses up like Dwight. Hahah funny.

Panini said...

w.o.w. What a jerk. How impossible. Poor little barrista, and I'm very proud of you for the future time at which you will tell him exactly. what. you. think.

Miss Parker said...

Down with the Dwight!

ZB said...

Yah~ that's all I have to say. No wait...Up with the scully! Okay, now I'm done.

esperanza said...

Well, if its really like the office, maybe a Jim Halper will be hired soon?!?!? :)

Scully said...

Highly doubt I will be seeing a Jim anytime soon. The giant wheel of karma doesn't gift me with such things. If anyone gets hired, it would probably be an Angela. Or a Michael, or a Kelly. Or even another Dwight.