Things I Can't Handle Today

People who don't understand the word no.

People who somehow think they are the exception to the rule.

People thinking invading my space and giving me a hug is somehow the best way to comfort me.

Thinking about the future. Even if I did get an interview for that art center/museum position.

Listening to anyone who wants to tell me how wonderful my mother is, or how much they love her, or what an amazing person she is. I know all that. Better than they do.

The guilt about not being able to do anything to fix this situation.

The guilt about getting enraged everytime a kind person tries to do something for my family and me.

Pretty much anything other than staring blankly at a computer or tv screen.

Movie Review

My brother and his wife were in town this weekend and my mother was feeling well enough to have an adventure, so we decided to go see Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I was a little skeptical, as I had not liked some of the plot developments in the second installment, but I will always pay good money to see Johnny Depp in eyeliner. Here are the highlights and the lowlights.

The Highlights:

The aforementioned Mr. Depp in eyeliner.

The Surrealist touches inspired more by avant garde filmmaking, rather than any blockbuster formula.

The continued piratization of Will Turner, to the point that he resembled nothing so much as Captain Jack Sparrow's younger brother. In eyeliner.

The kick-trash female roles. Do NOT mess with a woman scorned.

Good triumphed over evil.

There were casualties on both sides while good did the triumphing over evil.

The Lowlights:

Actually, there really wasn't much I didn't like about this movie. When I first heard it was somewhere around 2 hours and 45 minutes, I thought it rather excessive. But it didn't seem long whilst sitting in the theater.

I know some people were complaining about the ending as we left the theater, but I liked the ending. It wrapped it up enough that if this is the end, it works. But it left enough of an opening that should the money made on this movie inspire them to do another, there needn't be any contrivances to get the story started again.

All in all, the movie was bittersweet, just what you want in what might be the end of a beloved series. And I say it is totally worth the $8.00 to see it. Especially if you like men in eyeliner.

Reasons To Smile Today

1. The sun is shining and the sky looks like a movie backdrop.

2. My boss enrolled me in the company healthcare plan a month early.

3. He also gave me a raise.

4. My brother and sister-in-law are flying in tonight.

5. My mom's hospice nurse came today and told her that her lungs sounded clear and that her kidney function had improved ever-so-slightly. Which is awesome. We might be able to keep her around for a little longer.

I Have No Words

I can't even process what has happened in the past five days. But this song has been running through my head constantly, so I thought I would share. It expresses everything so perfectly.

What Sarah Said
by Death Cab for Cutie

And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to Father Time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD took you a little farther away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines in a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds
But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground as the TV entertained itself

'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
Ant then the nurse comes round and everone will lift their heads
But I'm thinking of what Sarah said:
That "love is watching someone die."

Ok, so I have heard from several individuals who were freaked out by the content of the song. Which is weird because I find huge amounts of comfort in this song and actually find it uplifting. Maybe because of the melody. I don't know. I didn't mean to scare or depress anyone. Sorry.

Ten Quirks

Lovely ZB outlined her ten(ish) quirks on her blog today and since I can't think of anything good to write about except how excited/sad I am about The Office season finale tonight I thought I would accept her invitation to do the same. So here are ten quirks you may or may not know about me.

1. I like it when people's names are symmetrical, as in the first and last names have the same, or nearly the same, amount of letters in them. For instance, I find the names George Clooney or Michael Vartan infinitely more aesthetically pleasing than John Krasinski. I find the balance soothing, I guess.

2. I am normally find country music grating and not a little annoying. However, when I am sad or depressed or sick, I watch CMT. I have no idea why, but it makes me feel better.

3. When I eat candies like M&Ms or Skittles, I organize them in a pyramid according to color. Like the bottom row is purple, the next red, the next green etc. The order depends on how many of each color I get in a handful.

4. I hate using other people's bathrooms. Whether they be at work, at someone's home, or a public facility I absolutely hate it. Maybe it is a fear of being walked in on at my most vulnerable, maybe it is my latent germaphobia, I don't know. But I hate using them.

5. The smell of hospitals makes me nauseous.

6. I believe that someday soon one of my TV boyfriends will sweep me off my feet after falling madly in love with me, thus solving all my problems. Really.

7. I don't like red meat, but the smell of pot roast makes my mouth water.

8. For someone who has wonderful parents, great friends, and in general a good life, I have a lot of rage issues.

9. All I did for the first couple of years I lived in Salt Lake was complain about living there. And now that I don't, I miss it.

10. I still have dreams about people I knew in high school and about boys I crushed on over seven years ago.

I Wonder If His Middle Name is Danger?

It is official, I work with a Dwight. In fact, should any future work stories be good enough to share, he shall be referred to as Dwight K. Schrute. I had already labeled him a 'Dwight' due to the fact that he is anal-retentive. Last week he made one of the other employees so mad she had to leave work for a while. She was already having a bad day, due to the fact that one of the owners apparently can't make his own coffee and, having asked me how my coffee-making skills were (the reply, of course, being 'not good'), he interrupted her work so she could make coffee. Unbeknownst to us, the coffeemaker had a clog. Thus the coffee ran all over the little kitchenette, rather than in the coffee pot. Twice. So by ten o'clock in the morning she had cleaned the kitchenette twice AND make three pots of coffee. At about 1 o'clock in the afternoon, whilst she, henceforth to be known as TheBarrista, was hurriedly trying to catch up, she was cutting something with the large paper cutter on the front desk. Dwight K. Schrute came up and said "We need to keep this front area clean. I'm going to tell this to everyone, but make sure you clean up after yourself. We don't want a bunch of scraps where everyone can see." To which she replied "You have got to be kidding." Because the woman who cleaned the kitchenette up twice would totally leave three scraps of paper lying about for everyone to see. Also, he hasn't spoken to any one else about it.

On Wednesday of last week, he spent the afternoon freaking out and berating fellow employees* for small mistakes in verb tenses (regards rather than regard; degradations rather than degradation) on documents. Granted it was legal jargon, but not something that held legal ramifications. On Thursday he spent an hour closeted with the next senior employee, TheBarrista, in a meeting from which he emerged a little less anal. He also spent an hour in the afternoon in a closed-door meeting with the actual owner.

Thursday morning, when the first meeting was taking place, there wasn't much the receptionist, ChattyCathy, the assistant to TheBarrista, henceforth to be known as GymGirl, and I could do. So ChattyCathy and GymGirl filled me in. Apparently they have gone through receptionists like crazy. ChattyCathy was originally hired to do the indexing, but was promoted a month later when the receptionist quit after an ugly scene with Dwight. He has also lectured ChattyCathy on reaching her full potential which he is sure she isn't doing. He made her so mad she burst into tears because he said that people shouldn't be so mad about what Don Imus said becuase it was the truth. GymGirl can't stand him and hates the way he speaks to clients and customers. He does not have people skills. Rumor has it he was married once for a total of eight weeks. Needless to say, the soap opera is completely intriguing. Also, it is a relief to not care about the job. If he berates me, I have no problem standing up to him because I don't care if I'm fired. It is very liberating.


*Note: while he is the employee with the most seniority, he does not own the place, nor is he anyone's boss. He just acts as if he is.

Is Karma Trying To Be My Friend Now?

I think the karmic tides might be turning. I am employed. I have a positive bank balance. I am actually sleeping nearly eight hours a night, which in the past year has been nearly impossible for me. My computer is being extraordinarily co-operative. And this happened.

Excuse me while I cackle evilly.

The Perfect Storm

Recipe for a migraine:

Start with days of stressful decision-making
Add a healthy dose of nights spent tossing and turning
Quickly fold in hours spent searching through reels and reels of microfilm, followed by hours toggling between windows on the computer
Mix in rapidly changing barometric pressure as storms roll in and out

This should be enough to create a good migraine, but if it isn't strong enough include the following:

One courier who smokes so much the smell permeates the office in a matter of minutes
A part-time employee from the local high school who bathes in that kind of cologne to which adolescent males are drawn.
A friend in crisis

In other, happier, news I turned in my application for the museum/art center job. I'll let you know what, if anything, happens. Also, tomorrow is TVboyfriend day. Huzzah!