30 March 2007

The Cosmos Hates Me

It is only 12:30 in the afternoon and already the cosmos has taken ample opportunity to tell me what a big, fat failure it thinks I am. First, there is the matter of having absolutely no response to the fifteen or so resumes/cover letters/applications I have sent out in the last 3 weeks. No calls for interviews, no emails telling me they are looking through all the submitted resumes and will let me know, not even a letter saying I didn't fit their paradigm but they will keep my resume on file. Nothing. Which is utterly and completely deflating. Especially when it is a part-time data entry job, which I could do in my sleep.

Also, despite being more dedicated to the work out plan than I have been in ages, the scale had decided to mock me by showing a weight gain rather than a loss. The dial refuses to turn in the right direction! I have decided to blame the whole thing on moving closer to sea level. I'm sure being high in the Salt Lake Valley makes one's scale read lower. It couldn't be the fact that I now live in a place where someone routinely offers to make me food, where everyone enjoys three square meals, and where the pantry is always stocked with delectable things like chocolate chips and gourmet breads.

Then there was the Deseret Book catalog that arrived in the mail today. It is the Mother's Day edition and was full of things that made me throw up in my mouth a little like this:

or this:
Aside from the nauseating, they were spotlighting a book called I Am a Mother by someone named Jane Clayson Johnson who was apparently a correspondent for ABC's Good Morning America and The CBS Evening News, as well as being a co-anchor for CBS's The Early Show. The book is about giving it all up to be a mother and the foreward is written by Sheri Dew, another powerhouse woman. This book, along with many, many others in the catalog, only highlight the fact that not only can I not manage to get a date, let alone get married and procreate, I can't even hold down a job, forget about building a career.

All of which is tempting me to send a No, thank you RSVP to the organizers of my high school reunion. How can I convince everyone of my own inner fabulousness if I can't convince myself of its existence? Or maybe I'll just go listen to the Bridget Jones's Diary soundtrack Esperanza had the prophetic brilliance to send me last week. If It's Raining Men can't get me out of this funk, I don't know what can!


esperanza said...

I agree that I often have felt that way. I have nothing else to say but that! Well, maybe one more thing, I have met Jane Clayson and she is gorgeous, I've talked to her actually. Also, you have to go to the reunion if I am going to the reunion, let's make Chad go. And...I gain weight instantly when I go home, it just happens---.

ZB said...

Okay...all is not lost! Life is funny, when you want something it isn't anywhere to be found and when you aren't looking for it, there is an abudunce. Me...I'm trying not to be a mother and what do I get...2 kids! Just kidding. What I am trying to say is---watch or real the book "The Secret"...it's pretty good. And although it won't solve all of your problems at once. It might help you appreciate what you do have now! As for the weight thing...it's true that you could weigh more simply because of your location in the Universe. Farmboy and I have had this conversation. Well, he conversed and I listened. I'm sending you lots and lots of skinny vibes!

Panini said...

I'm going to go muscle gain as the reason for the scale's persistant retardedness. :) It's the same thing I told myself when I spontaneously gained 4 lbs last week. :)
That's so interesting that Sheri wrote the forward for that book. What did she say?
I'm sorry about the job interview stuff; I think you're overqualified. Are you considering moving away from Moses for a job, or are these all in-city places?

aquamarine said...

My turn to give the advice about not listening to the nasty voice in our heads!! ;)Easier said than done I know. Hang in there. This all can't be for naught. As for the weight gain, muscle and rehydration, baby! Being at home does cause weight gain, which means I probably spend waaaay to much time in mine. heheheh

blackjazz said...

I agree with the comments about weight gain. When you start exercising you might well put on some weight, but you'll be fitter than if you weren't exercising. So don't be put off by that. Keep it up.

Of course, if your diet has changed maybe that's an issue too. I have no knowledge of what you eat, but on my visits to the US (without being judgemental about anybody) I've noted that a lot of people eat too much sugar - and "sugar is a poison".

I saw a snip from a TV show a few days ago in which an overweight woman was washing herself. She was so big and had so many ripples and creases in the fat all over her body that it took her an hour and a whole bar of soap to shower herself - which she did every day! She had to do it to stop herself from smelling. Two important points came out of that: (1) I may be overweight, but some people are a lot worse than me - I'm not even close to being in their league (2) I'll make sure I never get like that.

Miss Parker said...

ZB, don't get me started on the Secret! It is a cult my boss is trying to get me to join. Quite unsuccessfully. Universe genie! Hee.

And Scully, I hear you...but you are only allowed 1 day for this pity party. And that's final.

Scully said...

Thanks for all your support guys. And it wasn't so much a pity party, as me wondering why the cosmos was mocking me so. I'm valiantly trying to keep away from all the evil Easter candy. But I do think I will be able to add another 1/2 mile to my walking route tomorrow, which is excellent. And BlackJazz, that has to be the most revolting story I have ever heard. My biggest fear in life is to end up with one of those 'front butts' where the stomach is as big as a bottom. I shudder at that thought!