25 July 2007

Karma Owes Me

The following are three things Karma can send my way to make up for finding a 2.5 inch one of these:

in my bathtub this morning. For those of you who don't know what that is, that is an aggressive house spider and they are evil. And big. Needless to say, I shut the door on the tub, shaved my legs in the sink, and put my hair up rather than shower. (Many thanks to my brother Mime for killing it!) Karma also owes me for keeping me in the county courthouse for hours on end today waiting for people to decide whether or not something could be recorded. So I suggest it deliver the following three things to my doorstep. Sooner, rather than later.

This beautiful suit was brought to my attention by one of the lovely emails I periodically get from Banana Republic. I must own this suit. I love the retro feel, the pencil skirt that is such a wonderful mix of prim and sensual. I love the color. I love the cut. I love the fact that it could work in every season. I love that I already have lots of accessories that would go with it. I love that I would look smashing in it, because I would need something stellar to wear when karma sends the next thing to my front door.


I would like to introduce my newest Fantasy Boyfriend: Richard Armitage. I just finished watching North & South (the adaptation of the Elizabeth Gaskell novel, not the Patrick Swayze/Civil War one) and this man made the whole thing worthwhile. He stole every scene he was in and it was worth staying up until all hours last night for the last five minutes alone. And if you think this picture is good, wait until you see him sans cravat. He is now in the British TV series about Robin Hood (see Miss Nemesis' entry for a lovely pic) in which I hear he wears eyeliner. And you all know how I feel about that. Also, he will be appearing in one of the PBS Mystery! airings of the Miss Marple series on August 19th. Mark your calendars!

Since Karma cannot afford NOT to deliver the lovely suit and the Fantasy Boyfriend from Britain, it will obviously need to send a ticket to London, as that is where the said FBfB's livelihod is and it makes no sense for him to relocate to a rural town in Eastern Washington. So of course I will be checking daily for an open-ended ticket from Sea-Tac to Heathrow. Luckily I don't have to renew my passport for two more years. Maybe by then the backlog will be gone. Or by then I will be a bi-citizen, the FBfB having become a FHfB. You are all invited to come visit.

14 comments:

Treat Queen said...

That is a nastly spider!! We had a big one in our tub and it took us five tries to get him to go down the drain. Not fun, I squealed a lot. I think Karma does owe you, and I'd happily come visit you in England!

blackjazz said...

In a Woody Allen film he gets a phone call in the night from his ex-girlfriend asking him to come round quickly because of an emergency. He rushes round and she explains that there's a large spider in the bathroom. He's dismissive of this, until he sees the size of the spider!!! "Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick."

Scully said...

I have one irrational fear in life, and that is of spiders. I think pretty much any animal with more than 4 legs is creeptastic, but spiders are just wrong. Very, very wrong.

Katie said...

I agree completely! Spiders are disgusting! And I've decided it is a man's job to kill them. Unfortunately, Chad does not agree, because he is also scared of them. I usually attack them with cleaning spray until they quit moving, and then somhow move them to the toilet and flush.

Cami said...

cute neck and sleeves on that suit!

aquamarine said...

I've had to get mean here in AZ with spiders and bugs in general...if I don't get them first they get me. As sadistic as this sounds there is a slight pleasure in smashing those buggers to smithereens! Which is ALWAYS accompanied by screaming...from me. ;)

I also must look up this North and South that is spoken so highly of. I need something engrossing to watch while I torture myself of my elliptical trainer so that I can even imagine myself in a darling suit like that! Oh you would look divine!

blackjazz said...

Due to the inclement weather in England at the moment, we decided that the Stake Beehive Camp should be changed into a Stake Beehive Super-sleepover. One kind bishop lent us an empty house for a few days. (He'd moved into a new house and not yet sold the old one.)

On the second night I went into the female leaders room to help with the inflation of an air bed. Suddenly my hearing was tortured by a combined choir of high-pitched screams. There was an 8-legged creature on the ceiling. "I can't sleep in here tonight!" "Get it out!" etc. It was a harmless but rather large spider. I guess it was probably about 4 inches across. The men in the room coaxed it into a cup and let it loose out of the window. It probably came back in a few hours later :-)

Scully said...

I've read about your 'inclement' weather, BlackJazz. Hope all is well with you and yours. I'm glad the spider was harmless. The spider I found in my tub can cause ugly sores and skin death if it bites you. Which is far from harmless. I can usually handle the non-harmful spiders and just turn my back and tell them to leave and they won't get hurt, but I think this guy was squatting in our tub to get out of the 100+ degree heat.

cherbear said...

Ugh! I totally hate spiders! They seem to be everywhere this year. And since PapaBear is more scared of them than I am, I'm the resident spider killer. Which can be bad sometimes, especially when I miss and it starts coming for me! We've had tiny spiders coming out of the electrical outlets for months now. Apparently the only thing the bug guy can do about it is spray around the baseboards so I elected to save 70 bucks and do that task myself. They're still there. I think I've been bitten a couple of times by them judging from the unexplained "bug bites" that have shown up on my legs so I guess they are the harmless ones. Anyway, Karma sure does owe you, it owes me too for those stupid spider bites.

blackjazz said...

All spiders in the UK are completely harmless - which is nice. In fact there's not a lot of harmful wildlife here at all. There's the usual wasps and bees, and there's one extremely rare poisonous snake called an adder, but that's about it. No lions, tigers or bears, so Dorothy and her companions would be quite safe in the UK. There used to be wolves, but they were slaughtered hundreds of years ago.

As for the weather here - what can I say? It seems to have been raining some time during the day for most days for nearly 2 months! A week last Friday was the worst, when a lot of water was dumped in an area of the Midlands mainly in Gloucestershire. Flooding was extensive and, in particular, it hit a water treatment facility. So, hundreds of thousands of homes lost their water supply. Large areas are still under water and yet without clean water. "Water, water, everywhere. But not a drop to drink."

Let's hope some of them have followed the prophet's counsel and stocked up for such an emergency.

Scully said...

See, BlackJazz, I knew England was the place for me, what with the no-harmful-spiders and the fact I wouldn't have to bathe in sunblock every single day, regardless of the season. And from the coverage I've seen, the government is handling the victims of the flooding WAY better than our government handled the victims of Hurricane Katrina. In fact, The Daily Show dedicated a hilarious bit to it that you should watch if you can find it online.

Treat Queen said...

So we just got North and South. We ordered it off Amazon a day or so before this post. WE finished watching it last night. Your newest Fantasy Boyfriend is very good looking, but you're right, its the last five minutes that makes it worthwhile. He scowls so much the rest of the movie, but the anticipation is almost palpable. Nice choice.

ZB said...

If I had any kind of extra money...I would seriously send you a ticket to London. Not much I can do about the fantasy boyfriend. The suit is totally cute tho. I HATE spiders. Gross.

esperanza said...

Love the suit, love the man, love the idea of going to Britian. Lets save and go and then stalk fb!

p.s. I'm back in town now so I need to call you and catch up!