15 February 2006

Rage Against, Well, Everything

This is my horoscope for the day. I think it is the most accurate of any horoscope I have read.

September 22 - October 22
You will notice that your emotions are coming to a monthly climax today, dear Libra. Don't be alarmed, but do be cautious about lashing out at people for no reason whatsoever. You may feel on edge, and unintended slights from others could push you over the top in a fury of emotion. Harsh words spoken today can damage other people's feelings for a long time. Remain silent if you feel triggered.

For the past few weeks, a deep and abiding rage has been building. Most of it revolving around my feeling that my life has stagnated. As any regular readers know, I hate my job. Now, many of you will think “Well, DO something about it Scully!” which I agree with, but it is really hard to walk away from a job that pays almost double what most Utahns make per hour, plus great benefits, and a great 401k matching plan. Especially when I contemplate my car payments, my recently increased rent, my recently doubled car insurance payments (yeah, don’t ask) and the $6 I have left in my bank account until Friday. All in all, not the best environment for turning in my two weeks’ notice.

This means that all that rage bubbles up when my co-workers page me for the fiftieth time that day to ask a question for which I don’t have the answer. Or when my boss arrives before me and neglects to do things like pick-up the morning paper he requested be delivered or switch the lock so that the door actually closes, or check the fax machine, or switch the phones over from our night-time answering service. Or coming up with increasingly difficult progressive billings for various clients that I’m in charge of keeping track of and submitting.

On top of all this, I’ve had to give up dairy. First it was just milk and yougurt that made me sick, but now every sort of dairy product, even the littlest bit of cheese, makes me ill. And sadly, the one and only thing I have ever liked about Valentine’s Day, frosted sugar cookies, have just enough dairy to make them verboten. I think Karma hates me.


Miss Parker said...

Keep your eyes on the prize...no dairy or sugar + beating out rage on treadmill = iBook. That's a happy equation if you ask me. Not to mention losing a few more pants sizes...

aquamarine said...

Oooo, iBooks are lovely! To bad about the dairy though. I am sure if that happened to me, my treadmill would have a whole in it by now. There is a lady in New York who is so determined not to lose her pizza that she has made a pretty good business out of non-dairy pizza that actually tastes like pizza. Three cheers for the food channel.

Esperanza said...

The thing is...you do make good money...and its hard to have you think about giving up a job that makes good money, even if it stinks....ah, the dilemas of an adult life! Stinks! and Yick!