I Could Get Used To This 'Christmas Bonus' Thing

I have never received a Christmas Bonus before, so if that means I have to attend an office Christmas party in return, I'm all for it. Actually,the evening wasn't too bad. Most of the attendants stuck with drinking wine, which a) doesn't smell as bad as other alcoholic beverages and b) isn't downed like a shot, rather enjoyed slowly over food, making the drinker less likely to become a bleary-eyed drunk. The exception to this being Dwight, who is the exception to most things. He was ordering his second 'Crown and water', whatever that is, as I sat down.* Also, he chose to sit in the middle of the long table so that people were forced to sit by him or else feel like a massive jerk for not doing so. Guess who caved to the guilt first. Yes, that was me. And, I think I will end up paying for it, more on that later.

But, the dinner was quite lovely and most of the people I work with are very nice and interesting to talk to outside of the office. I ended up staying much longer than I had planned to, but mostly because it took forever for the food to be served. No one else seemed to mind, as they could enjoy their drinks of choice and the dairy-laden appetizers of which I couldn't partake as I had forgotten my Lactaid. Once the food came, it was quite delicious and I was much too full to envy people their dairy-laden desserts. I did end up envying their seats, however.

Dwight not only enjoyed at least two Crown and waters, but several glasses of wine and an after-dinner Scotch in lieu of dessert. Which meant all I could smell was metabolizing alcohol. Not a fan. I also had to desperately try NOT to hear a conversation that had very much in common with the exact point at which I threw down the book Wicked in disgust and swore never to finish it or to read anything by that author again. But the worst thing about my seat was a conversation I overheard between ChattyCathy (the receptionist) and theBarrista (who Dwight unfortunately uses as some sort of therapist/confessor during lunch). TheBarrista had come down to our side of the table to chat and she and ChattyCathy were discussing Dwight's choice of seat. TheBarrista said, "He sat in the middle so that someone would have to sit by him." Which was obvious, but when she said "someone" she not-so-subtly glanced at me. And that, combined with ChattyCathy's assertion to me earlier in the day that "[Dwight] likes you." because he nicely corrected me on a mistake I made, rather than ranting about my stupidity and lecturing, makes me very, very nervous. Please tell me I am hallucinating.


*I did some research. Crown Royal is Canadian whiskey. Way to start out with the hard stuff, Dwight.