18 December 2006

Malignant Headspace

What does it say about where my head is at that I just had to convince myself NOT to write a not of apology about changing the picture on my blog? Because I had commented on Miss Nemesis's excellent post about feminism and how people relate to that word, especially people who share our faith. Anyway, a later commentor said they liked the old picture (of the real Agent Scully) better than the new picture. And they spelt it 'Skully' not 'Scully'. So why was my first response to write a note of apology to a perfect stranger who didn't even spell my screen name properly, because they didn't like the new picture of a snake eating it's own tail? Especially considering said apology would have been posted on someone else's blog space and had nothing to do with the excellent post to which it would have been attached. Also, why was my first instinct to explain exactly why I had chosen that picture? Because I did choose it for a reason. It comes from an episode of The X-Files in which Scully gets the image tattooed on her back because she feels it represents her life and how she keeps going in circles rather than moving forward. And that is how I feel. So why should I feel I have to justify my decision to a perfect stranger who may or may not read my blog? Or, more precisely, why do I allow a perfectly innocuous comment from a stranger to cause me to second guess my sense of identity?

8 comments:

aquamarine said...

For what it is worth, I like your new picture and it is nice to have your own prerogative regardless of retarded commentors!

Scully said...

Well, it wasn't so much the commentator, since they were just commenting, but what bothered me is that I felt it necessary to apologize and explain. I mean, why did I feel I owed it to them? I'm pretty sure the problem is with me and not with the commentator.

panini said...

I was wondering if you had read that comment. ;)
right on questioning that impulse--you have no need to apologize or explain (although I'm glad you did because that's just cool information)
--And no kidding about Nems post rocking--that was just great. (did you read what her dad said? that made me sigh)

blackjazz said...

Sorry to be the cause of such anguish. No apologies necessary. I just happen to be fan of the X-files and I thought that picture of Scully was a particularly good one. I did recognise the new one, but it features in one of my least favourite episodes.

Apologies for spelling Scully wrongly. It's not the first time. I seem to have a mental block about it, but at least I've got it right this time.

By way of introduction, I'm not a total stranger. Miss Nemesis stayed with a friend of our family in the UK, referring to her as Lady J. She dated my son for several months, referring to him as WR. She and my daughter served together in the nursery. Our family got to know her quite well. So, I'm not a weird internet lurker and I promise I'm not retarded (thanks, aquamarine - no offence taken - I'm sure you were just sticking up for a friend).

Nemesis said...

Wow, how did I miss this post? I was about to stick up for Blackjazz but I see there's no need. And it's not like you were saying anything negative about him anyway. But yes. Blogspace is weird. And it does sometimes mess with your head. Or at least it does with mine.

Scully said...

I'm glad of the introduction, BlackJazz. I know Miss Nemesis from our study abroad experiences in London many years ago. And I'm extremely jealous she got to go back! I hope you didn't take offence at all. This was so much more about my neurotic people-pleasing instincts than about your comments. And ironically, I got the original picture of Agent Scully from a BBC cache.

blackjazz said...

Scully - I'm glad that my defensive explanatory post was noticed. And don't worry - you'd have to try a lot harder than that to offend me :-) If I can get away with offering you a compliment, even though I don't know you at all (so far as I'm aware), your comments on Nemesis's blog were sufficiently thoughtful and interesting for me to start reading your blog too.

Nemesis - thanks for verifying my story.

With your permission I'll continue to read both your blogs and enjoy them, making the odd comment when I can think of something worth saying.

As far as the snake tattoo is concerned, I spent most of that episode saying "Don't do that Scully - it's wrong and stupid and not you!" So, while it may well be the way you see your life at the moment, please forgive me for continuing not to like it. Whereas that picture of Scully is really nice... BTW - I drive a black Honda Jazz and that's what my picture is. It's nothing to do with musical preferences. Despite the picture, I've found a number of people have been confused on that point.

Scully said...

Oh, feel free to continue the not-liking and the reading, BlackJazz. As someone who thinks overly much about her writing, I love to have comments. Even if they disagree! And I have never heard of a Honda Jazz. Is it one of those deliciously fun, small cars that are illegal in the U.S. because it could easily be trampled by the hideous Hummers that people insist on driving?