A Few Ground Rules

I spent the past few days considering whether I actually wanted to keep this blog going. There was a slight kerfuffle due to my last post that seeped into my real life - something I very much do not like at all. This blog was supposed to be a place I could write what I was thinking and feeling and then leave it behind. Lately I felt an increasing need to self-edit, due to who has been reading my blog. Part of it is my fault for linking the blog on my Facebook page. Part of it was a slight panicky feeling when people addressed me by my name in comments. I thought about either deleting the blog altogether or making in private. Both would cause different issues and different, but similarly scaled, work loads. Neither felt right because both felt like I was making all the accommodations when it was my blog and my small corner of the virtual world. So here is the deal - I'm laying a few ground rules for my blog. If they are followed, great. This weekend will just be a small hiccup. If not, then I will reassess and see what happens.

My Rules:

• If you comment, please DO NOT use my real name. There is a reason I use the pseudonym Scully. I like having a slight veneer of anonymity on my blog. I do not use real names in what I write. Please extend me the same courtesy. If not, I will delete your comments.
• I write to get rid of things, to get things off my chest. It is a cathartic form of writing. This means that what I'm feeling when I write generally stays where I left it, on the blog. Feel free to debate my sentiments, to argue, to be offended if you wish, but know that I have moved on and do not want to deal with it in real life. That is why it is on the blog.
• As a caveat to the previous rule, it is not my intention to use my blog to ridicule, harangue, lecture, or abuse someone. What I write is what I feel about a situation, my interpretation of events. If I get upset about something, it is because of the way it affects me. I don't hold grudges and won't call anyone out, but I will express my feelings and opinions. It is a balancing act and I won't always be successful.

Hopefully this is just a refresher and we can all go back to my regularly scheduled rants.

I Spend Days Deciding What Shoes To Buy, I'm NOT Going To Rush Picking A Husband

Today at the Institute Friday forum, where they feed us lunch and have a speaker, I wandered into the kitchen to wash my dishes. Just minding my own business, washing my dishes, I suddenly became the topic of conversation between the two people already in the kitchen. One was the mother of a friend of mine, my friend being in her late 20s and also unmarried, and the other a retired man who serves with his wife as the CES missionaries. They must have been talking about how my friend is unmarried when I walked in because her mom was saying she was picky and then she starts referring to "these two" which apparently included me. Out of nowhere I was under attack for being picky and caught totally unprepared. I declared, quite loudly, that it was for eternity so I was going to be picky, thank you very much. Then they went back to talking about how in the world they were going to get "these two" married. Like they have ANYTHING to do with it AT ALL. Also, how in the world am I supposed to get married when a) the pool of eligible men remotely close to my age is miniscule and 2) that pool shrinks further when you add the demand that they be upstanding and temple-worthy. I think that leaves 1, maybe 2, individuals in my possible dating pool. Oh, and one can't get married if one never gets asked out on a date. Argh.

Blerg Seems Like An Understatement

But it will have to do for now. Today is the nadir of the year, has been for the last three years and most likely will be for the rest of my life. What is the worst is being so busy the date doesn't really register until you are sitting in your 8am class and the date is made abundantly clear and there is nowhere to run and hide. So now, on top of dealing with all the other feelings you have to deal with, guilt gets added to the pile. Good times.

Soliciting Your Opinion Yet Again

The portfolio I'm working on for my creative writing class has to include poetry, which I am much less comfortable with than prose. Prose I know where I stand whereas, with poetry, I am on much less certain ground. So, here are eight poems I've written in class - let me know which ones you like the best. The poems are linked below.

A Very Long, Involved Post In Which I Politely Ask For Your Opinion

In order to do the core endorsement that will, in theory, make me one iota more employable in this wretched economy, I am required to take five English classes. I'm in my last one right now, Creative Writing, which is fun and I wish I had less other stuff to do so I could concentrate for on it. But, the end project is a portfolio in which we have to have one short story and five poems. Since I don't really have time for a lengthy revision process AND I am so stressed my decision-making skills have disappeared (seriously, it took 20 minutes this morning to decide if I needed to wash my hair. Not good.) I am asking you, dear readers, to give me your opinion on the three different stories I wrote during our short story workshop. These are all first drafts and I have some fairly extensive notes from my workshop group, so I'm mostly looking for what you think would be the best story to spend time improving. If you want to leave comments, fantastic. If you just want to vote in the poll, great. The stories are after the jump.