Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.

Rabindranath Tagore

Things That Suck

Watching helplessly as your mother fades farther and farther away from you.

Watching helplessly as your father watches helplessly as your mother fades farther and farther away from him.

Remembering exactly what is happening to your family upon waking up from the blissful oblivion of a nap.

Listening to the seconds click by on the clock as you sit and watch your mother struggle to breathe.

Knowing it is going to get worse before it gets better. And that your definition of 'better' is still completely horrible.

Things I Can't Handle Today

People who don't understand the word no.

People who somehow think they are the exception to the rule.

People thinking invading my space and giving me a hug is somehow the best way to comfort me.

Thinking about the future. Even if I did get an interview for that art center/museum position.

Listening to anyone who wants to tell me how wonderful my mother is, or how much they love her, or what an amazing person she is. I know all that. Better than they do.

The guilt about not being able to do anything to fix this situation.

The guilt about getting enraged everytime a kind person tries to do something for my family and me.

Pretty much anything other than staring blankly at a computer or tv screen.

Movie Review

My brother and his wife were in town this weekend and my mother was feeling well enough to have an adventure, so we decided to go see Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I was a little skeptical, as I had not liked some of the plot developments in the second installment, but I will always pay good money to see Johnny Depp in eyeliner. Here are the highlights and the lowlights.

The Highlights:

The aforementioned Mr. Depp in eyeliner.

The Surrealist touches inspired more by avant garde filmmaking, rather than any blockbuster formula.

The continued piratization of Will Turner, to the point that he resembled nothing so much as Captain Jack Sparrow's younger brother. In eyeliner.

The kick-trash female roles. Do NOT mess with a woman scorned.

Good triumphed over evil.

There were casualties on both sides while good did the triumphing over evil.

The Lowlights:

Actually, there really wasn't much I didn't like about this movie. When I first heard it was somewhere around 2 hours and 45 minutes, I thought it rather excessive. But it didn't seem long whilst sitting in the theater.

I know some people were complaining about the ending as we left the theater, but I liked the ending. It wrapped it up enough that if this is the end, it works. But it left enough of an opening that should the money made on this movie inspire them to do another, there needn't be any contrivances to get the story started again.

All in all, the movie was bittersweet, just what you want in what might be the end of a beloved series. And I say it is totally worth the $8.00 to see it. Especially if you like men in eyeliner.

Reasons To Smile Today

1. The sun is shining and the sky looks like a movie backdrop.

2. My boss enrolled me in the company healthcare plan a month early.

3. He also gave me a raise.

4. My brother and sister-in-law are flying in tonight.

5. My mom's hospice nurse came today and told her that her lungs sounded clear and that her kidney function had improved ever-so-slightly. Which is awesome. We might be able to keep her around for a little longer.